It seems hard to believe, but Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and soon, the holiday season will be in full swing. While this is a time for gatherings and celebrations, for divorced parents, it’s also a time of stress.
If you’re worried about co-parenting through the holidays, here are some helpful hints to make this year smoother.
A time of conflicts
We associate the holidays with joy and togetherness. However, trying to co-parent children can lead to conflicts, such as:
- One parent feels like they aren’t getting enough time with the children
- The introduction of a new partner
- Where the children will spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day
- Each parent attempts to outspend the other on gifts
Unfortunately, this can lead to both parents losing focus on what is best for their children.
To minimize holiday conflicts, consider the following strategies:
- Start planning early. Use a shared calendar or co-parenting app so that both parents are aware of and agree to the holiday schedule. This can help alleviate some of the uncertainty and prevent last-minute conflicts.
- Effective communication is crucial. If emotions are still too raw, use non-verbal methods like email or text messaging. Keeping the tone neutral and focused on the children.
- Be willing to compromise. Even with communication and planning, plans may change. Last-minute family gatherings and weather conditions can upend previous arrangements.
- Set a Christmas budget. Both parents need to agree on how much each parent will spend on gifts. This will prevent one parent from going overboard and being too extravagant.
- Focus on your children. Christmas is a magical time; you don’t want to ruin your children’s holidays by fighting with their co-parent. This is a time to set aside your animosity and make this a special time.
While children look forward to the holidays, they will likely have mixed emotions as they remember previous years. This is an opportunity to create new traditions, such as playing a new game, or each one gets to design their pancake at a special breakfast.
By working with your ex-spouse, the holidays don’t have to be a time of conflict and stress. With communication and a plan, both of you can focus on what matters most – your children.